Thursday, April 15, 2010

IPL TAMASHA

New age India saw liberalisation of the early nineties, retail boom of the millennium and now the baap of all events, THE IPL in this decade. It definitely qualifies as one of the largest brands of India. So what's new about the spin offs making the headlines outside of the cricket pitches? We hate Modi already? How about a certain Mr. Raju who splashed across every readable space just a few months back? The fact is, today there are too many young, talented, well educated and affable Indian chaps in the middle of big things, some of whom find their oppurtunity for some personal action. By nature everyone wants to play the money game. Having read scores of fiction about white firangs milking millions off large corporations in the page turners churned out by the Grishams, Collins and the likes, it just seems like a real life Indian action replay. May be the beginning of it. Money laundering was traditionlly the job of the politicos of our country. Sole discretionary power was the driving factor behind it. Now power has innumerable dimentions in this age in a fast changing nation. We shouldn't be too surprised at the mushrooming brigade of the smart alecks who tweak a few knobs while in the thick of things and stash away such amounts of green bucks that most of us can only vaguely imagine.
A new season of IPL, announcement of two new franchisees, one politician Mr. Tharoor, and a pandoras box full of ugly worms opens up to a nation giddy with cricket flavour. One cannot be so naive as to think of IPL as a cricketing event alone. Cricket is the side business here. Its mostly about money, about hard core speculative investment. Team owners are tainted with black money from shadowey entities lurking in the background, more skeletons are bound to tumble out from the cupboards. There is a theory about how an individual can be positioned at the right time at the right place with the right acumen to fully leverage a given oppurtunity, some do it the right way, ala Mr. Murty of infosys, some do it their way, Modi for instance. India hurtling towards superstardome of world economy is a goldmine of millions of such oppurtunities, and the next Modi or Raju is just around the corner. We need accountability, yes.
Paid debateers in the prime time news slots are shouting hoarse about transperancy and neutral audits of IPL, but did we prescribe the same for our potbellied netas assets and incomes? How are the infamous swiss banks flush with trillions of crores?A nation crawling through post independence infancy was sucked dry every which way by the power wielding vote mongers through decades preceding the present one, and still it goes on. Audit the whole bloodsucking 'representatives of the masses lot'. Pointing fingers at one Lalit won't help. And prescribing an all pervasive political intervention certainly won't. It is possible for a nation like us to be a model of the new world with overdue streamlining processes and watertight audits. Otherwise it would be another spiralling down into the cesspool of bad market vibes and ugly public spats surrounding every other major marketing extravaganza in due course of time.
The time is now, we must act fast to lock all flood gates before its too late, when we shall witness another gereration rising to complain about a corrupt nation with a poor public/private asset management. Lets stop IPL from becoming the Indian Public Liablility.

Friday, June 12, 2009

The grind of the morning was about to begin. There were already some twenty odd office goers nibbling on their bacon, sausages, cheese and the sweetened assorted breads. Clinking of cutlery and clanking of dishes could be heard everywhere. Some distance away from the main dining area, a coffee maker was whirring constantly, releasing the ever arousing rich aroma of arabica beans. 'your weak darjeeling?', 'champ' as he was known asked the copper haired old lady, who has been staying here for the past two weeks now. 'i want chai!' the bespectacled Britisher replied, eyeing the boy with a gaze which can be described as a look of a wizard who has just cast a particularly nasty spell, and is awaiting the effect. The 'champ' gets the idea, it must have been one of those late afternoon trips to the neighbourhood with Indian acquaintances, to some corner chaiwala. Now, the woman is hooked to street tea.
He prepares what can be sadly described as 'chai' in a 'luxury' surrounding. A sip. No reaction. Another one. Frown this time. 'Where is the sugar in this?', ' and what?', 'no ginger!'.
Champ could not have gone beyond a certain point without actually getting in touch with the faceless 'chaiwalah ' who has done the damage. He faces the perennial problem of street food versus 'luxurious' experience, both at worlds ends, both trying to desperately emulate each other, sometimes with little success. 'Chai' described in the information highway will have a stock pile of spices and milk and sugar, all boiled with water and tea leaves. This is the traditional Indian tea of the north western states and does not necessarily reflect the 'chai' as it is misunderstood by the Westerners and the N.R.I's too often. The term tea, in English, is what we in India call chai. So tea is chai. Period. In fact if we travel a further back from this time period, we are enlightened to the fact that the term 'tea' itself had travelled from the plains of India to the west. A heavily accented westerner saying 'tea' would sound something like 'tchheeeaa". That is our chai!!! if you listen properly. Well, the fact remains that India is one of those countries which had given the world its most delicious,refreshing, heart warming non addictive beverage. We have three world renowned regions like Assam, Darjeeling and Nilgiri, which produce some of the best varieties of teas. Whether you like your tea, plain black, with milk and sugar or lemon and honey, the trick to a really good cup is the water temperature and the brewing time. Tea is a delicacy, hence the preparation too, needs finesse.The making and the setting is what one needs to understand first, before ordering tea. Leaves soaked in water is chai, adding 'masala' to it will make it masala chai, just tea,water and milk together is readymade chai, addintion of a herb like say mint, with or without milk makes it pudina chai etc.Meanwhile, ten minutes time is what it takes to make a cup of north western chai described earlier. Take black tea leaves of the blended Assam variety along with a lot of finely grounded clove,cinnamon,cardamom,bay leave,star anise,aniseed and yes fresh ginger, in a thick bottomed pan with two thirds fresh milk, one third water and sugar.Bring all this to a vigorous boil. Strain and serve piping hot. Its the making of tea that matters, that alone brings out the magic, the 'chai effect'. In a luxurious setting, they make tea with a few bags or some leaves, in a ceramic pot, just added with hot water and cold milk is placed on the side. The making is not right. Nor is the setting.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The trainer, about to start a topic on brands, asked the class, 'so which brand comes to your mind when i mention toothpastes?'. Colgate!!!!, the unanimous response, could have been true in any other classroom, at any other time, anywhere else in India and the world. That to us, we, me, is the kind of resonance asssociated to a giant of a brand which kickstarts the day of millions and milions of users worldwide each morning. Let's talk about 'our' viewpoint, What's so special about this particular brand? It is not that users in India have reaped extraodinary benefits by using colgate, in fact, we are considered to be a nation which ranks below average in oral hygiene standards. And 'benefits' is definetly not a top priority of a brand user. No brand of cigarette will be called 'beneficial' by a right minded user.There are certain other things that come first. Most of those like, comfort, value, trust, reliability etc are of the bookish varieties that every tenth grader knows these days. Lets explore one more, hidden but top priority. In fact it is the factor that leads to ultimate leanings towards a brand.

Its called Bias. Yes it not a typing error, its called Bias. We are biased individuals who choose our brands because of a preloaded programme inside us. Deep within the crevices of the hemispheres of logic and creativity, lies our best friend,our bias, the one who makes us choose a red umbrella, a green dupatta, a black sherwani, a silver sliding mobile phone, an ipod which is white, a golden toothpick holder, and yes, a certain red coloured packet of toothpaste. We are totally biased towrds these colours that attract. It is almost unknown to us, many a times it is identified by the marketeers, but not as a bias factor but more as a recall value driver. Red and blue are identified as the two most prominent colours in the world of ads. Both the makers of the ads and the end users are biased towards these colours. And the colour factor is not just one bias that leads to brand loyalty, we are even biased towards the sound of the names! A popular celebrity column in an English daily becomes phonetically profound sounding, with a heading like, 'God in Gucci'. We have enjoyed the hit 2008 release, 'The Devil Wears Prada', see? we have an automatic selection process to names when it comes to attributing it to something beyond us. Now, we shall never again see a slogan like, 'Prada, even the gods like us! The dye is cast. Amrani, you can be the automatic choice of the humble humans. Heaven and hell are divided by your fellow competitors. Snigger,snigger. We hate bias don't we? Yes we do. On paper. Deep within, every choice of a brand we make, is about our biases to things associated with it. Colour and sound are two examples. Long ago a popular noodle brand which enjoyed monopoly in India was marginalised by Maggi. Now Maggi is the favourite of everyone. Is it because of the taste? Not certainly, personally i feel it tastes average, now after all these years. Yet, i too buy it time and again. On introspection i realise that the bright yellow and red imagery on the packet played a vital role in my selection process long ago. Taste and smell of the product too sway the buyers decision. But they cannot be too important. A slight difference in taste leads to initial dissatisfaction, the overall impact of the brand remains encaptured by the colour and sound effect. A highly sucessful layout designer of Indian origin in New York once said, 'they come to me for the effect, for the variations in tones on their product, without it, they all increasingly realize, no body looks at them in an aisle full of only one product! True, we do not look at the less endowed. We all admire the biases in us, remember?, 'tall dark and handsome, 'my fair lady', 'chand sa roshan chehra', these are some of the iconic phrases of the present and past century, the biase to colours goes well beyond. To the birth of man. It is what nature told us to do. To choose from the rack of toothpastes, only the bright red packet.

Aparthied, an illness of the society, resulting in bloodshed, tauma, loss of innocent lives, is to be blamed on our colour biases.Did we ever try to see what is not on the exterior? the value that is intrinsic?. Nope. Had that been true, we would have made useful decisions that help us really. A better husband or wife instead of a pretty or handsome little monster who ruined the rest of our married life. A nutritive diet plan instead of the of junk food that chokes us slowly. A real teeth cleaner whick kills germs and not a sweetned pulp that the 'dentists' from over the world prescribe! A balanced energy drink which replenishes vital nutrients instead of a can of sugar syrup laden with 'secret' additives that the generations of this planet calls 'cola'. See what is not there to see. Taste the essence not the assault of flavours. Feel the warmth and not the false sense of 'power' in your hands. Be biased, but not to something that denounces values. Red is what attracts us. Let's appreciate the value of red that is inside all of us. Not just on a rack.

Monday, May 18, 2009

India, our country is about numbers, a lot of numbers. And currently, our respected netas are crunching a hell lot of numbers(their entire life depends on numbers) to decide what may be the possible collage at the center. Yes, a collage. Not a party, nor a few parties, but an entire brigade of wannabes hounding a big brother to find something to nibble at, something to be called a 'government'. As Adiga the writer says in his recent booker winning novel, 'what a ....... joke'.

We, the people, have managed to create a really long list of political parties, and a further long list of 'winners', who would now be able to have a go at the center of power in the Indian democracy. Democrazy, anyone? So, you voted for the secular forces, huh? Do not worry, a plethora of forces will find your voice at the center very soon. You can watch the comedy show in a month's time, when they do decide on the 'government' and start the 'process' of parliamentary debate. Now, the picture has emerged from the ballot box, UPA it is, your choice! UnderconstructionParliamentary Affairs, shall become United Parliamentary Alliance once again, your own government! Dr Manmohan Singh and his mentor have decided enough is enough with the left. Hence left is left out this time, some others will get their chance. The biggest setback in this recent election has been for the left parties. They messed with the stability at the center on the pretext of no faith in the nuclear treaty.And then, mishandled the situation at Singur and Nandigram, allowing a certain Ms Banerjee to flee with the votes. Good on them. Such irresponsible behaviour should not be tolerated for a national level party. But then its about the numbers na! Who do you omit to include????? that's the question.
Hence we shall have analysis upon analysis on the 24*7 news channels as to the final outcome. Until what comes out come finally! We can be led by anybody. Just about anybody. Ministries have been allotted to the goons from the cow belt and the ex convicts from coconut yards . Lets hope this time too they find the 'competent' candidates. Half the government has already rolled out by the time this post got to your desktop. Efficient people at the centre!
One over the top lady is screaming 'preshident rool' for her state from one corner of our country. Signs of the times to come. Well, we may have some rule or the other definitely. Only 'governance' you cannot demand, or get for that matter. That my dear friend is some thing the ballot they so dearly coaxed you to 'jaago re up to' never promises. 'Aap vote nahi kar rahe hain toh so rahe hain', right. 'ParKya Aap vote karke ro rahe hain?'

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Let's call her 'danu'. My friend had this habit of taking things into consideration, a lot many times before arriving at a decision. And invariably she would come to me for  suggestions, speaking in a tone which suggested 'help me na'. i of course was a sucker for any free service of  advice, that is abundant in all of us, isn't it? That afternoon i had gone somewhere( a movie i think), when i had called her to say hello. Honeydew asked me to come and see her immediately after the movie; it was regarding an interview she was supposed to have with a top guy in our company. Upon meeting her, i told her to be very positive and sound enthusiastic about the new profile she aspires to get, that is if selected at all. After a few queries as to what she might be asked,Danu left for her meeting. Later in the evening, at around dinner time, she sent a message that i should come and see her. There was this staff cafeteria where i chanced upon her, she was looking for me; her eyes spoke more than they wanted to, she was tensed. The staircase leading up to the floors in our office was a secluded place to have a 'private' chat. We went up two floors to a suitable spot; lest someone overhears our conversation. Sensing the nature of the situation, i spoke as carefully as possible, but she broke down as soon as we sat down on the staircase. She wept on and on clutching her face, i awkwardly placed an arm around her(never at ease with these things). Poor Danu must have cried for a full four minutes, when she finally managed to mumble that she needs my handkerchief. Snapped out of a daze, self ran downstairs to grab the nearest napkin lying around(we have no shortage of such things, ever). She wiped her face, i helpfully offered her a glass of water, she drank some, sniffed a little, and then told her story. 
It seemed she wanted to get hold of a better profile, she had been trying hard for it for the past year or so, in some other company. Likewise, here too(she was a new employee) her talent was lying waste for lack of opportunity, and for that regards she had applied to join the sales team. They flunked her;again, that's what she was worried about. The interview mentioned earlier had gone well only till the point of her presenting her case well, they/he/the interviewer had actually appreciated her 'spunk'. What's spunk, Sam? she had asked me in between telling her story. But alas, in the end she still was empty handed, her 'bad luck' hadn't left her still, she was heartbroken. Now what can a colleague, or even a friend do in such a situation? except may be perk her up. That i did. i told her that she was a genuinely nice human being, a rarity. Sometimes even the rarest of things do not get the attention they deserve, you do not worry, and certainly do not cry, stop being a crybaby. 'Stop being such a girlie' wouldn't you like to put up a better fight? i see that you aspire, which is good, now get your act together and get going, you'll succeed surely. She thanked me for being with her. i thanked her for sharing her 'down' time. We all share our 'up' time very easily, but hardly speak to anyone when things aren't rosy enough. A few months later, Danu came to me teary eyed again, this time to say good bye. She was leaving for a better position, a better profile that she had wished for so long. We spent a few hours together, relieving all the wonderfull moments spent that made up these past few months. Her life now seemed on track, and i was happy to see her smile and giggle at my silly jokes again. She had left on a bus, i had waved at her till the bus turned a corner. i knew we wouldn't meet again. Some instincts are too strong. It has been a long time.i am sure you did well in your life. i wish you only the best 'Danu'. 

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Watched a full length documentary called Religulous, ( probably merging of religion and ridiculous) an American production. The narrator is a stand up comedian called Bill Maher; yeah they can take a stand on anything. America for all that it stands and doesn't stand for is a very open society, the views expressed in public, would bring a nation like India to a bloody civil war. They have varied levels leading to and away from religion, the theist and the atheist being the closest and the farthest respectively. American society has and had quite a handful of atheists, this particular sect being treated like the carrier of some deadly disease by the majority of the very religious and church going Americans. Too many despicable and downright crass moral and social stigmas are attributed to the completely ungodly creatures, namely the atheists.
This documentary is no different from the huge amount of sound and fury spewing out of the land of plenty, time and again. Any talk,book,movie,documentary, audio or video about or against religion is widely followed and marketed; it always scores high. Religulous is no different, the narrator essays a silky smooth barging into the private lairs of some rich and powerful religious leaders or representatives to defy everything that religion stands for and does. He throws question, levels veiled accusations, scorches, stumps, bruises,punches and laughs at the pot bellied, Armani suited 'scholars'. They evidently are playing to the camera, some making it look real, others fumbling and stuttering, maybe praying that this gets over soon. The whole episode is a series of short interviews aimed at poking fun at the concept, misinterpretation and general shortcomings of religions all over the world.
Maher knows his onions, or is rather well prepared for the roasting of his victims, while keeping the proceedings light hearted and jovial. But the point is that inspite of making severe dents into the foundation of religion, like pointing to the glaring glitches in history(usual),linking of private wealth of preachers to blind faith(hackneyed) to rationalizing miracles to every day phenomena(clever), the documentary fails where all American tirades against religion fail, its adversity to atheist way. We, in India look at religion as either true or false, not the Americans, a vehement no to religion is still unacceptable to them. The narrator, like all other rationalists from America, relies on the seed of doubt to express his and all fellow brothers and sisters inability to see what religion is up to. They conveniently call themselves agnostics, a fancy term for the doubting Thomases. By this they mean that they are unsure, 'by doubting you are being rational' booms Maher. nah! you aren't being rational, you are trying to escape the twin dilemma of becoming a social outcast and a futureless,rootless flying twig. There are a lot of unmentionable attributes strangely given to the atheists, the veracity of the same though cannot be vouched by yours truly. 'Atheists do not vote, do drugs, blah blah blah'...went on an American i personally know, himself an agnostic.
i remember the sensible statement from another agnostic American, Richard Dawkins, 'physical science has a long way to go before it unearths the mystery of the all that is there around us, hence it is safe to say that all arguments for or against religion are not final, both are true and untrue at the same time'. That is solid ground for the agnostics, this yes and no, easy to adopt and say 'i doubt', instead of saying 'i deny' and get lynched. This view does not change anything, but it is better than a 'yes i believe so bring out the nuclear warheads'. Peace and human progress shall be achieved when assorted no-brainers like of 'doubts', 'beliefs', 'service', 'rituals', 'miracles','punishment', 'rewards in heaven', etc etc are totally and thoroughly washed down from our collective conscience. With religion around us, its a 'miracle' to live another day. Without it, there will be heaven without death. Another miracle!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Recently spoke to a Texan engineering consultant about the woes of the world market, to get a feel of how an American reacts to an infectious malady born in USA. He was pretty cool about it, saying casually that this is going to take three quarters more to get back to normalancy. He pointed out that the earliest signs of the recovery would be the drop in unemployment levels, and raising of interst rates. These two parameters he said, would be a healthy indicator. i asked for good measure what he thinks is the right price for oil in this scenario, to which he replied about seventy should be good. Sounded fair, the rates, controlled by American companies are always illogical. The commoner on the street should be able to get a tanks fill without having to worry about other consequenses. Then i came to the crux of the discussion, which i suspect he was ready for, he knew somehow that i would ask him. So why do you think this had to happen, who, if you were asked, is the single biggest culprit?
He was a smart diplomat in this classical answer of his, 'greed my friend, its greed'. There can be situations where the consumer is looking for a refuge under some sort of cover, to meet his desires, the market foces if not ready to meet the challenges shall be losers in the long term. Only, the methods chosen should have state approval in almost all cases so as to avoid future consequences. At least that is what is proven in this recession. The world needs better economic regulations to accomodate the aspirations and fix the greed of the principal lenders. Further i stated matter of factly that the reforms are going haywire and that the very basis of economics is a farce, its a dicey concept. He fully agreed to that and offered to add that it is called, 'the dismal science'. i laughed at this new phrase. Yeah, yeah, he indulgingly muttered. Trying to put mathematical coordinates on to human behaviour is nothing but an absurd idea. So the world will always see such phases, more of the global meltdowns are likely to occur, unless a very strong fundamental base of economic governanace is rolled out for the all the nations to follow. That is an unlikely scenario, like telling fifty chimpanzees to stand in a line for some bananas. Someone is bound to jump the line, someone would scoot with a whole bunch. Man is only socialised, an animal all the same.